Unfinished Business

“Alexandra, party of four.” 

Alex popped her head up to find the waitress standing before them with menus and utensils. She stood, straightened her dress and followed her to a booth in the back. Alex waited to see who would sit where but decided she wanted to be on the inside and face the door so she did just that while her friends piled in behind her. The waitress set their menus before them before taking their drink orders. 

“We drinking?” Rue asked, eyes falling on each woman’s forehead buried deep in the cocktail menu.

“Duh. Why wouldn’t we be drinking?” Replied Cass

“I'm definitely drinking. I'm meeting Ryan’s parents later.” Alex added.

“Well, I have to pick the boys up when I leave.” The friends all turned their heads to look upon Emily’s face in question. “So of course I’m drinking. The hell.”

The ladies laughed and sat their menu’s down. 

“You nervous Lex?” Asked Cass.

“Uh. Slightly. Not that parents don’t love me, parents adore me, it just feels serious this time. I really love him.”

Aw’s cascaded on Alex in harmony as her friends gave her mushy looks. Rue reached across the table and held her hand. 

“I think it'll be just like every other time you’ve met someone’s parents. Just be yourself as you said, they’ll love you just like their son does.” Rue said reassuringly. 

“My parents are cool people Lex, I don’t know why you're so nervous.” Ryan said as they pulled into the driveway of a brick colonial style home. It was all very suburbian and she imagined what it’d be like to grow up in a home like his. Most of her childhood was spent couch surfing with one family member or another until she was old enough to make herself some money. She found she had a product unlike any other, and there was an open market to sell it. Alex took a deep breath before meeting his gaze.

“What makes you think I’m nervous?”

“Hmm. Maybe the three outfit changes, and I might add that each and every outfit looked amazing on you. Or the way you’ve been tapping your foot and in silence the entire way here.” He said softly. He was always so sweet to her, so reassuring. It’s why she loved him.

There weren’t many soft men in her previous line of work. And after she left the business it took some time to build a life and separate herself from the stigma of being a woman who didn't deserve softness. When she met Ryan, his eyes sold her. They were big and brown and sincere. She knew he’d never hurt her on purpose or judge her past. So she’d told him everything. Every little detail of her life up until that point, and he didn't bat an eye or make a face, his eyes never changed. 

“I don’t mean to be nervous. I just really want them to like me.”

“They will baby. You’re amazing, and beautiful, and smart, accomplished, kind, and so damn sexy. What possible obligation would they have to me marrying you?”

Alex nearly broke her neck to face him. Had he said what she thought she’d heard? Marry? Marry her? His eyes were the same, his smile was soft, and he reached over to grab her hand as it rested on her thigh. Alex felt a thickness in her chest. Was it love? She took another deep breath before speaking, though her words came out breathless. 

“You want to get married? To me?” 

“Yes, I do. I love you Alexandra Gold and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and only you. It’s you Lex. The woman I’ve been looking for, waiting for. You are the woman of my dreams and I just can’t imagine a day that doesn’t end with me in your arms. You are everything to me.”

Alex shook her head in disbelief. Their romance had been a fairytale from the beginning and she often found herself rubbing his back in search of a cape. She’d done well for herself financially, made good investments, and now she had three salons and two nail shops. Her youth may have been spent pleasing men but now she pleased women.She didn't need him for money or security, and he damn sure didn't need her. But he wanted her. And was there any love better than one based not on need? 

She’d always dreamed of marriage, but never truly believed it was in the cards for her after age twenty two, too much had happened and she was sure no man would see her as anything more than a cum rag no matter how successful or far removed from that life she became. Only Ryan didn't see her past at all. He treated her as if she was the most precious and innocent thing he’d ever been blessed to behold. And for the first time in her life the sex was for her. It wasn't to please him or because the dollar was right.  No, she wanted to have sex with him, wanted to please him and be pleased by him. 

“Yes.” She blurted, not wanting to give him a chance to change his mind. A tear fell from his eye and Alex nearly jumped into his lap to hold his face and kiss him. 

She gripped his hand tightly as they approached the door. Their bubble of love was so light and airy she thought they might float away and if they did, she'd be right by his side. Ryan stopped before knocking and looked into her eyes once more. 

“I love you Alexandra.”

“I love you too Ryan.”

Ryan rapped against the door. Only a few seconds passed before the door swung open enveloping them in warmth. Alex opened her eyes and her mouth dried. The bubble of love burst with a loud pop and she felt her heart drop into the pits of her stomach. The man standing before her in his crisp black slacks and cream cashmere sweater  smelled like sweet cigars, whiskey, and cologne. The same way he’d smelled every single night she’d spent with him in room 753 at The Visu Hotel.

“So Alex, tell me what has our son so intrigued by you.” Mrs. Shields was a beautiful woman. It was what Alex had noticed first about her, her beauty. She was a soft spoken woman whose presence began and ended with her looks. 

“Hmm, I would love the answer to that as well.” She said with a polite smile. 

Ryan and his father returned with drinks. Alex tried her best not to look his way but his energy kept calling to her. Ryan sat beside her and handed her the gin martini she’d requested. No matter how many drinks she’d had at lunch with the girls, she’d sobered completely the moment she saw Sean’s face. Mr. Shields' face.

“He hasn’t brought anyone home in ages, you must be special.” Mrs. Shields pulled Alex from her thoughts and she took a sip, plastering another fake smile on her face. 

“Very special indeed.” Said Sean in a husky voice giving absolutely nothing away.  

Alex finally met his gaze. Still just as fine as she’d remembered. Handsome beyond words. Smooth, so damn smooth. She eyed how his drink sat atop his thigh. How his fingers strummed the glass. He used to stroke her back like that whenever she sat on his lap. When her eyes traveled back to his she knew it was intentional, and sick. Not sicker than the building desire she felt reminiscing about all the nights he’d pleased her, exerted his will over her, made her beg him to stop, beg him to keep going, and beg him to stay. 

Not many men cared whether or not she’d been satisfied. They were paying for her time and to be pleased. Sean Shields was by far the biggest and best exception. Many nights after leaving the life she laid in bed and craved that man, but there was no going back. So she’d fuck herself to sleep wishing it were him, resigned that she would never see him ever again. Now he sat before her looking just as good if not better, smelling just as good, and looking at her like he’d seen her naked. 

“I must say, you two are the youngest looking parents of a middle aged man that I've ever seen.” Alex remarked with a laugh. She had to get down to the bottom of this. Mrs. Shields smiled and glanced lovingly at her husband.

“We had our Ryan quite young. Thankfully the years and running around after him haven't caught up to us.” She remarked sweetly. 

They could all be siblings as far as Alex were concerned and it was all rather unnerving.

“What do you do for a living Alex?” Alex glared at Mr. Shields wondering exactly what game he was playing.

“I’m a beautician.” She replied trying her best not to sound short. Ryan’s hand stroked her back and for the first time his touch was of no comfort to her. Not at all. 

“She’s not just a beautician, she owns the salon. A few of them actually. I’m very proud of all she’s accomplished.”

Alex felt herself soften at Ryan’s words. He always knew what to say. 

“Thank you baby.” She leaned in to kiss him but could feel Mr. Shields glare on her cheek. 

“Such a beautiful couple. I’ll have to come get my hair done sometime.” Mrs. Shields squealed, the smile nearly splitting her pretty face in two.  

“She has nail salons too, mom.” Ryan proclaimed in a proud tone with a victorious smile. 

Alex couldn't help but be pained by the ugly truth lingering in the room. She knew she loved Ryan, deeply but Alex prided herself on always remaining honest with herself. The truth was she’d never once had even an ounce of the passion she’d felt for Sean with Ryan. Not once. No matter how tender or sweet the night it simply never reached the same height of ecstasy. What did that mean? Not forty five minutes ago did she agree to marry him and now she was unsure of herself, unsure of them and she had to tell him the truth. Ryan’s mother got up to check on the food and she felt it was the perfect opportunity. 

“Baby, can you show me where the restroom is?” She asked, placing her hand on his thigh. Sean watched her every movement and that unnerved her even more. She had to do this.

“Of course baby. Excuse us pops.” Ryan rose and led her down the hall. 

“I don’t really have to go to the bathroom.” She whispered, looking up into his eyes. 

“Oh, you don’t.” He asked mischievously. Grabbing her hand he led her down the hall and through the back of the home. He looked around like a spy before they slipped out of the side glass door. 

The backyard was big. The biggest Alex felt she’d ever seen. He imagined Ryan and Sean playing football out here, family barbecues and pool parties. Then she imagined sex with Sean in the jacuzzi and released Ryan's hand, he eyed her quizzically and she ran across the grass to the side of the pool house. She stood sinking in the dirt wondering exactly how she would tell him. Her heart raced and she pressed her hand to her heart to slow it. Ryan turned the corner with a smile. 

“What game are we playing? Hide and seek?” He said with a sensuous grin. She eyed him close to tears trying to mask all the fear she felt. 

“Kiss me.” She begged. He pressed her body against the paneled wood and his mouth covered hers. 

She wanted it to make her feel good, and sexy, and alive, but she felt like a piece of shit because all she could think of was how Sean’s mouth felt and tasted so much better. Ryan got lost in her touch, raising her thigh and hitching her dress up to her waist. She would’ve been lost too, if Sean weren’t inside of that house looking the way he looked and smelling the way he smelled and reminding her of what it felt like to feel like a woman through and through. To be possessed by a man, a true man who made being a woman feel easy. Ryans hardening dick slid against her thigh and she pushed him away, breathless. 

“Uhn uhn, don’t worry about them. You’re out here with me.” He said, taking a step toward her. Alex raised her hand and he stopped.

“I slept with Sean. I slept with your father.” She blurted. Alex watched as understanding fell over Ryan. For the very first time since she’d met him, his eyes changed. They were dark, cold, distant.

“What?” He asked, taking that same step but this time it was away from her. 

“Listen, it was years ago, forever ago. He was one of my clients. I had no clue Ryan, I didn't know. No once did I put it together because it was so long ago and he never mentioned having children.” The words came in a rush. He took another step back as if he were floating, drifting away from her. 

“You slept with my dad?” His voice was tight, he was holding back tears. She reached for him, but dropped his hand when his gaze burned her flesh as if her hand were a snake. 

“Ryan. You know who I was before. I told you the first night we met. You had to know I’d have a client list.”

“How many times?” He asked.

“Huh?” 

“How many times did it happen Alexandra?” It was the first time he’d ever used a harsh tone with her and it scared her. His distance scared her. His eyes scared her. 

“I don’t know.” She managed to choke out.

“What was it? Once? Five times? Ten? Twenty? Forty? Was he a regular? You were in the game for years so I mean, how many times?” He breathed erratically.

“Ryan.” She pleaded, wishing she could start over. She wasn't saying the right things. He wasn't understanding. Everything was wrong.

“How many times Alex!?” He shouted. 

“I saw him every week for two years, up until I quit.” She admitted, taking a deep bracing breath. 

The storm would come now, she knew it. There was no way this good thing could last forever. Maybe that’s what she’d been feeling all day. Her reckoning. Ryan sank into himself. He paced in a circle trying to gather his breath. Ever so often he’d look at her with burning eyes then turn away. She wanted to comfort him so badly but she was the source of his pain. 

“Was that normal?” He asked finally, stopping in his tracks. While she wanted to pretend she didn't understand the question she knew she owed him better than that. Alex shook her head, a tear falling down her face. 

“No. He was the only one like that.” She admitted. She couldn't stop the tears as they fell now. She simply allowed them their freedom.

“Did you love him?” He asked, pain in his voice. 

“I don’t think so.” She whispered, unsure of the truth. 

They’d had something. For two years she looked forward to every appointment Sean Shields set. Alex daydreamed through her week fucking other clients for money and never thinking of them once they left. Then came Thursday. Her favorite day. The day Sean would pick her up, take her out to eat, then take her back to their room and spend the night making love to her body in ways no man ever had. He confided in her, listened to her, and he also gave her the seed money for her first salon. But Alex wasn't ready to admit that truth. That truth would break him. 

Ryan slid his hands into his pockets. Alex stared at the mud on her shoes. 

“I know that I love you.” She said, looking up to find his eyes filled with tears. 

“Do you still desire him, here today?”

She wanted to lie and proclaim her undying love for him. She wanted to fall at his feet and suck each and every worry from his dick and swallow all his pain. She wanted this to be the thing that strengthened them and fortified their union, but Alex was no monster. She knew that if she married Ryan it was only a matter of time before she accidentally found herself alone with Sean, and succumbed to her every desire. 

“I love you.” Was all she could give him and he understood. Without another word Ryan turned and left her there on the side of the pool house. 

What Alex walked into could only be described as something out of a stage play. Ryan was shouting at his father, Mrs. Shields was crying with her face in her hands, and Sean stood with his hand on her shoulder trying to defend himself. Alex wondered how she could leave without anyone noticing. Her purse was on the couch so she’d have to grab it to catch an uber, plus her house keys were in there. She thought about going back outside til everything died down but Ryan felt her approach and turned his blazing glare to her. 

“And here she is. What possible reason would Alexandra have for lying? I brought her here with the intention of announcing our marriage. Why would she lie?!” Ryan spat at his father. Of course she was lying. Weren’t all mistresses liars? But Alex wasn't his mistress, just his whore. 

“Are you really  going to deny knowing this woman?” The words stung Alex but she understood. She’d be catching plenty a stray this evening. She’d already smelled the rain coming and the storm approaching. 

Mrs. Shields unfolded and sat up to look Alex in the eye. Alex gave her an apologetic glance and realization of the truth set in. Alex could tell Mrs. Shields knew the truth, she simply hadn’t had any proof. Now the proof was living and breathing in her living room. Her hollow gaze was empty and her voice dead. 

“No need. I felt it between the two of you when you walked in. You recognized him and he recognized you, and his eyes never left you. I watched him undress you with his eyes, I watched him appreciate you, I watched him remember you. And you. I watched you feel him. I watched you smell him. I watched you taste him. I watched you remember him too. Every Thursday night, right?”

Mr. Shields hand fell from her back, Alex’s eyes widened and Ryan looked from his mother to her as it dawned on them all that she’d always known.  

“He was different when it stopped. More interested in me like when we were teenagers. Sean was alive again. He wanted to do things and try things, things he never seemed interested in before. But on Thursday he was sad, out of it. Then he bought me your perfume. I remembered you too. The smell of you on his jackets, shirts, underwear. So I never wore it, out of spite and you have on that same perfume tonight. I thought it was a coincidence. There’s no way you’d be here, like this, with our son.”

The room was silent. Alex didn't breathe for fear of falling apart. Ryan kneeled before his mother and held her hands. Sean stood with his back to them and Alex didn't like that she couldn't see what he was feeling but his body read that he was in pain and she hated the urge she felt to comfort him. 

“Chelle, there’s no way any of us could’ve predicted this occurring tonight and I’m sorry for my part in it. I love you. I have loved you since we were twelve years old and you're the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.” They all looked at his back, Alex wanting to vomit.

“But, you love her too.” Mrs. Shields whispered, her eyes finding Alex once more. Sean turned in disbelief and Ryan rested his forehead on his mothers knee. He looked like a little boy down there far removed from the man she loved. 

Alex stood frozen in place taking in the words. Had he really loved her? Had it all been love all along. Him holding her, kissing her, and touching her? Him supporting her and caring for her? Had she missed something? Did she love him? Alex felt faint but she couldnt move to fall out. A pregnant moment passed as the bitter truths of the night settled over everyone. 

“Ryan, get your things. We’re leaving.” Ryan’s head shot up and he eyed his mother quizzically. So did Alex. So did Sean.

“Where are we going?” He asked in an exasperated tone before looking at Alex. 

“We’re going to leave these two here and you’ll bring me back tomorrow to get my things.” Mrs. Shields stood and stepped past her son towards Alex. 

“What?” Alex, Sean, and Ryan asked in unison.

“Yeah, they have some unfinished business.” She stopped before Alex and gave her a sad but understanding look. She knew it was hard for Alex to tell the truth, and Alex believed the woman knew she loved her son. But Chelle Shields also knew what it was like to be in love with her husband, and she knew the kind of power that love held. Ryan didn't stand a chance. She mouthed a thank you at Alex and placed a hand on her shoulder. Alex mouthed an apology and Mrs. Shields gave Alex a smile that didn't have the strength to reach her eyes or cover her face.

“But mom,” Ryan started to protest, getting up from the floor. 

“If you love her, you will leave her here and come with me.” He eyed his mother desperately, eyes wild. Then he eyed his father, fury in his stance. Then Alex, unsure of everything but that he loved her. That he knew for certain. A tear fell down Alex’s cheek and Ryan bowed his head and followed his mother out of the room stopping to plant a kiss on Alex’s forehead.

“I really do love you.” He whispered atop her head before glancing back at his father and leaving. 

The room remained silent after that front door slammed. They heard the rev of an engine and listened as the sound of the car faded off into the distance. The space between them was flat, thick and heavy but the air was dry, so dry Alex felt it drag against her throat every deep breath she took. Sean used the loveseat to hold his weight, he felt near falling it he didn't believe he’d be able to get up. Neither of them had any words to speak. They could barely look at one another. 

Alex fidgeted with the rings on her fingers, the bangles on her wrist, shifted her weight from foot to foot. She wanted Sean to speak. Was he angry at her now? It felt as if he’d been angry the entire night. She hated to admit that she’d missed him and all the frustration between them had her craving their particular brand of intimacy. Against her better judgment she looked at him to find sad, longing eyes on her. 

“What happened here?” He asked as if he’d just stumbled upon a crime scene. He shook his head, both hands squeezing the upholstery of the chair so tightly it looked as if it might split. 

“I’m sorry.” Alex mumbled looking down at her feet. 

“For what?” He spat. His words slapped her and she pulled her gaze to his. What right did he have?

“I don’t have to do this with you.” She said, sounding like herself again.

 All night she’d been walking on eggshells or burning coals and she was sick of it. She’d done the right thing. It wasn't her fault he was a lying, cheating bastard. It wasn't her fault he was also bad at it. Then again most men were. It may not be true that all men cheat, but it can be argued that all men are horrible at cheating. They always, always got caught up. One way or another, whether their wife confronted them or not, always. It was just Sean’s turn. 

“No, you do. You have to do this because you chose to waltz in here with my fucking son and announce that we’d slept together! Why would you do that Alexandra?! Was it jealousy? What is this? A woman scorned?” He shouted, his voice shaking the walls. Anger radiated off his body. The heat of his ire reached Alex from across the room. Her nostrils flared and she took her first step toward him. 

“Are you fucking stupid?” She asked, acid dripping from her voice. Sean straightened, eyes forming thin slits. He started to speak but she raised her hand and continued. 

“In what fucking world would I have a reason to blow up your shit, like this? When did you ever divulge that you were a father? Hmm? In what fucking universe am I, Alexandra Gold, so fucking in love with you that I find and start dating your fucking son just to get close to you. I date him and make him fall in love with me and get him to propose to me so I can what? Show up here and throw it in your fucking face? Hmm? No really, Im all fucking ears. I’d love to hear how I could somehow come out victorious in this? Was it for this moment? You think I could possibly be that fucking affected by you?”

“Alex.” Sean said, wiping his face. The man looked utterly exhausted and she didn't care. She didn’t care anymore how he might feel. His eyes were weary because he knew she was right, but the responsibility was heavy and he wasn't ready to carry it.  She took another step forward.

“You’re an asshole. I actually love Ryan. I love your son, and you spent the entire night trying to make digs at me or flirt with me like a jealous old man. Like I never meant anything to you, like I couldn't be good enough for him.”

“That's not it and you know it's not it.”

“Then what is it? Is it what your wife said?”

His eyes narrowed at her. His gaze traveled up her body in wonder before meeting hers. She knew it was true. He had loved her. He did love her, it was probably a truth he never thought he’d have to face. She was out of his life, gone forever. Only to show back up with his son. Sean took a breath before walking around and sitting in the chair. 

“So, you love him?” His eyes were intense, it was like he was trying to read her mind or mesmerize her. She ain’t sure, but she didn't like it. Alex wanted to leave. 

“I do.” Was all she said. 

“And you want to marry him.” He sat back in the chair, legs spread, hands on his thighs, watching her stand there. Watching her take another step forward. 

“I want to marry your son.”

“Then Alexandra, why are you still here?” 

Alex eyed him incredulously. What did he mean? Wasn’t he in the same room she’d been in? Hadn’t he witnessed the same soap opera scene as she?

“Because they left us here…”

“Yeah, and you could’ve gone with them. You know that was a test right? Chelle loves her tests.”

Alex was dumbfounded. 

“If you would’ve left, it would’ve meant you were all in with Ryan. You stayed.”

Sean patted his lap as a signal for her to sit. Alex hesitated. 

“It's ok Alexandra. It’s just us here. Whatever does or doesn’t happen will be between us too. At least on my end.”

Alex took the last few steps until she stood between his legs. Sean titled his head and looked up into her eyes. 

“I really do love him though,” she whispered. She wasn't sure who she was trying to prove it to; Mrs. Shields, Ryan, Sean, or herself. But she felt it needed to be said. 

“I know you do.” Sean slid his hand up her calf to her inner thigh. If she wouldn’t sit, he'd have to touch her another way. 

Alex kept thinking of ways to say bye, ways to take a step back, ways to turn and leave. Only her mind kept drifting back to his warm touch exciting her skin. When his hand was under her dress he sat up pressing the side of his face into her abdomen and holding her body to him. He felt so familiar. The tips of his fingers slid over the material of her painties making her squirm, knees slightly buckling. He slipped a finger under the lace and stroked her bud softly while his other hand massaged her ass. 

She felt hot, breathless, but she wanted to seem unaffected. She didn't want him to know how good it felt. How much she’d missed it. How much more of him she wanted. But it was getting hard. So hard. Especially when his thumb found its way into her ass and his pointer and middle curled into her pussy. She chewed on the desperate moan that tried to push past her teeth that were piercing her lip and fell forward. He propped her leg up on the chair beside him and proceeded to swirl his tongue around her swollen clit. 

Her walls squeezed his fingers as she bounced on his thumb and tongue. Nothing had ever felt so sweet. The sound of his wet mouth intoxicated her, she whined and grinned all over him riding the waves of pleasure to her orgasm. He kept her there in bliss, stopping whenever she got too close to release. Alex hated it, and she absolutely loved it. The rise and fall was addictive, she began anticipating it. 

Wild moans and groans reeled the space. She held his head in place so she could slip and slide over his tongue controlling the ride. He let her have her way, never letting his fingers miss a spot on the way out or in. She felt like an animal in a way she’d never felt with Ryan, in a way she rarely felt during sex with any other men. Sean wanted the beast in her, and he was willing to do whatever to bring her out. Eating her until she came over and over was light work, and only the beginning. 

Sean removed his fingers and her back arched missing the feel of something inside of her. He told her to stay put and maneuvered around her to stand. Alex let her head rest on the back of the chair only to be greeted by his tongue sliding up and down her thighs. She tried to look back but he grabbed her head and turned it forward. She liked that. His hands caressed her body and massaged her ass, she loved his hands on her. 

She loved his tongue even more and his willingness to use it more than that. Alex’s back arched, giving him more access as he spread her cheeks and slid his tongue around her asshole. Sean could’ve been donned ‘The Mouth’, he ate, licked, sucked, whatever and was ever so pleased to do so. Her eyes found permanent residence at the back of her head when he stuck his thumb in, thumb out, then his tongue in, then thumb in, thumb out, then his tongue, then he’d lick, lick, lick, around, in and then thumb in, thumb out, tongue in. Alex was near collapse. 

It was when he slapped her ass. That was the moment the orgasm took her and left her body bucking, tensing, and shaking. That was when he turned her body over, kissed her mouth, then took the whole of her womanhood into his mouth and sucked. Not her clit, not her lips, her full vaginal situation was cupped securely by his lips and he sucked while his tongue wiggled against her full and swollen bud. He positioned her legs on either arm of the chair and held her ankles while his tongue swirled and captured her clit, taking it in and out of his lips, never fully releasing it. The tongue had her cat, and sin spilled from her mouth. 

“Oh my fucking god.” She cried, gripping the back of his head, caressing his ears, anything to show her appreciation as she leaked onto the upholstery. 

Sean was a man possessed. His life had already blown up, he had absolutely nothing to lose. And that’s the way he made love to her, fucked her, with reckless abandon. Like nothing on earth mattered more than them, and her, and her pleasure, and him being the cause of it. So he wouldn’t stop. No, not when tears slid down her face, not when she squirmed and tried to push him away, not when she gasped and begged and shook. Not until his face was wet, sloppy, and covered in proof that his son simply couldn't compare.  

Alex tried to sit up and look at him but she could barely move. But she wanted him, she wanted him more than her next breath. Sean could sense her need and felt an otherworldly drive to satiate her. He removed his pants in a rush before sinking into her. They both gasped as their flesh met and held tight to one another as they rode the waves of sensation. It felt good to be one again. He shiver ran down his spine, a chill spread over her flesh. He held her ankles and slowly slid in and out of her. Long, deep strokes. Taking it away, giving it all back. Emptying her, then filling her to her deepest depths. 

“I crave you.” He groaned against her mouth before giving in and letting his body fall on hers. 

He released her ankles and cradled her body. She wrapped her legs around him and held him there. He let go. All his anger, frustration, hurt, and pain. He gave it all to her with deep, furious strokes that left her panting. She needed it in a way that scared her. To be fucked like she was despised, to be penetrated as if she were hated. And somewhere deep down she knew that she was. That he reviled his craving and her. That his desire was not by choice and if he had one she wouldn’t be there. 

Alex realized, with her tongue deep in his mouth, that Sean had been tested too. The same way she’d been given a choice to leave, so had he, to choose his family, and his wife but Sean had stayed. Just like Alex had stayed. All that blame he tried to place was simply a projection. Each kiss, touch, lick, bite, was a projection too. They gave each other what they needed, because they knew no one else would. They took from each other what they craved, because they knew it was their one and only opportunity. 

This was the last time they’d ever make love. She knew he’d choose Chelle. She’d choose Ryan. They’d pretend it had never happened. They’d lie. And Chelle would know the truth. And Ryan would know the truth. But they would love them anyway and revile themselves for not being strong enough to leave. The same way Alex would hate herself. And Sean would pretend to hate himself.